I shudder to think what kind of "manipulation" goes on in there...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
It's great being a woman
I came across this while surfing, and I had to share...
HAPPIEST FAIRY TALE EVER!
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?” The girl said “NO!” And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank whole bottles of wine, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, saved money, and had all the bed and bed-sheets to herself. She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, and felt and looked fabulous all the time.
- THE END -
It's funny, but I shared, mostly because it seemed like a good prologue for showing-off the half-page advertisement on the Straits Times, starring me.
Like the title suggests. It's great to be a woman.
HAPPIEST FAIRY TALE EVER!
Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?” The girl said “NO!” And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank whole bottles of wine, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, saved money, and had all the bed and bed-sheets to herself. She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, and felt and looked fabulous all the time.
- THE END -
It's funny, but I shared, mostly because it seemed like a good prologue for showing-off the half-page advertisement on the Straits Times, starring me.
Like the title suggests. It's great to be a woman.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Becoming a maid
"Auctioning myself off as a maid for S$3000++ a month. Cleanliness not guaranteed. No extra services."
For some strange reason, I have a knack for steering conversation topics towards that pertaining my friends' domestic helpers...that got me thinking about the potentials of a career swtich. To maid-ing. (My boss will start to sniff at me suspiciously if he reads this)
"I overpay my maid so that she will stay. She comes once a week and has been cleaning for my family for the past 10 years."
"I think my maid earns more than you in a month"
"My maid works for half a day and I think she's paid about $3K plus from all the homes that she works for"
"I introduced my maid to all my friends and now she earns a tidy income cleaning house for all of them"
The best part of being an ad-hoc maid is that you don't pay taxes. No income tax, no GST and all the smlj taxes that the gahment throw at you.
Forget about being a public relations executive, forget about a career in teaching, even modelling isn't as lucrative as there are good months and bad months as trends fade in and out. Cleaning on the other hand, never goes out of fashion and is always in demand, consistently.
"But my cleaner works long hours/ My cleaner works very hard."
Well mister, so do I.
"The detergent and soap is bad for your hands and skin"
Well, my hands aren't very nice in the first place. I've already conceded that men with a thing for hand will not give a hoot about me, so why bother. Plus there's a thing call 'glove', that people wear when they perform domestic chores.
"It's hard labour"
It pays me to train my fat ass into a cute(r) ass, which in turn has a 50% chance of distracting my employer from the fact that I am actually terrible at cleaning.
Any takers?
Disclaimer: It's one of those crazy ideas that is conjured out of a hard day at work.
For some strange reason, I have a knack for steering conversation topics towards that pertaining my friends' domestic helpers...that got me thinking about the potentials of a career swtich. To maid-ing. (My boss will start to sniff at me suspiciously if he reads this)
"I overpay my maid so that she will stay. She comes once a week and has been cleaning for my family for the past 10 years."
"I think my maid earns more than you in a month"
"My maid works for half a day and I think she's paid about $3K plus from all the homes that she works for"
"I introduced my maid to all my friends and now she earns a tidy income cleaning house for all of them"
The best part of being an ad-hoc maid is that you don't pay taxes. No income tax, no GST and all the smlj taxes that the gahment throw at you.
Forget about being a public relations executive, forget about a career in teaching, even modelling isn't as lucrative as there are good months and bad months as trends fade in and out. Cleaning on the other hand, never goes out of fashion and is always in demand, consistently.
"But my cleaner works long hours/ My cleaner works very hard."
Well mister, so do I.
"The detergent and soap is bad for your hands and skin"
Well, my hands aren't very nice in the first place. I've already conceded that men with a thing for hand will not give a hoot about me, so why bother. Plus there's a thing call 'glove', that people wear when they perform domestic chores.
"It's hard labour"
It pays me to train my fat ass into a cute(r) ass, which in turn has a 50% chance of distracting my employer from the fact that I am actually terrible at cleaning.
Any takers?
Disclaimer: It's one of those crazy ideas that is conjured out of a hard day at work.
Monday, September 15, 2008
A beautiful thought
Although I've pretty much decided on my career path for the next 5 years, my passion for teaching and the holier-than-thou aspiration of inspiring kids hasn't been extinguished. Either that or I'm just masochistic to want to subject myself to such horrors.
So gathering a troop of 2 friends (1 confirmed, 1 still pending at the time this entry was posted), we've decided to seek out all voluntary and community service homes to volunteer our expertise on a part-time weekend only basis. An excursion to Fort Siloso every now and then, English and phoenetics classes, drawing lessons and Christmas parties, all sound like meaningful ways to spend weekends.
**Any organizations with vacancies for 2-3 female volunteers please let me know.
So gathering a troop of 2 friends (1 confirmed, 1 still pending at the time this entry was posted), we've decided to seek out all voluntary and community service homes to volunteer our expertise on a part-time weekend only basis. An excursion to Fort Siloso every now and then, English and phoenetics classes, drawing lessons and Christmas parties, all sound like meaningful ways to spend weekends.
**Any organizations with vacancies for 2-3 female volunteers please let me know.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Hairstyle changes
I chopped a good 5 inches off my waist grazing curls, and straightened it a little, and I don't feel so sexy anymore.
On the topic of hair, ever wondered how you'd look in the year book if you had lived in the 50's? Check THIS to find out.
In the 1950s
In 1960s
In 1970s.
Hair-spray bangs in 1980s
I look so HAWT that the only way I'd ever attract a man is if I put a paper bag over my head.
Perhaps I should try hitting the clubs in one of these get ups.
Or even better, I should turn up for a photoshoot looking like this. I'm sure if Singapore didn't have gun laws, I'd be shot.
On the topic of hair, ever wondered how you'd look in the year book if you had lived in the 50's? Check THIS to find out.
In the 1950s
In 1960s
In 1970s.
Hair-spray bangs in 1980s
I look so HAWT that the only way I'd ever attract a man is if I put a paper bag over my head.
Perhaps I should try hitting the clubs in one of these get ups.
Or even better, I should turn up for a photoshoot looking like this. I'm sure if Singapore didn't have gun laws, I'd be shot.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
The demise of Miss Singapore Universe
All these years, pageant girls representing Singapore for Miss Singapore Universe have been getting the blame for being unable to make Singapore smell a whiff of the Miss Universe prize.
But having dealt with its incumbant organiser just ONCE, it becomes pretty clear with whom the fault lies with.
I mean there must be a reason why no sponsors are willing to pool in their valuable advertsing dollars to be associated with the event. And I can safely tell you, it's not the lack of well-calibred girls we have on this island. Singapore is not lacking in beauties, unless your perception of beauty is restricted to those deathly pale Taiwanese/J-pop lookalikes who carries straw umbrellas everywhere they go.
The fact that we are a modern, cosmopolitan city, pretty much ensures that our girls here are (for the most part), well-groomed, well-travelled and knowledgeable. The fact that our country is wealthy, pretty much ensures that plastic surgery is commonplace, except that we don't embrace it as much as the Koreans. We may not have the most well-endowed girls in the chest department, but we make up for it with wit, grace, willowy-proportions and I dare say (surprise, surprise) we have quite pretty faces.
So why is it that the pageant do not attract as much well-qualified participattion as it intended to? Why is it that the sponsors are not convinced to park their dollars with the organizers? Why are the media all giving bad reviews towards the pageant? It can't be the girls, because the contestants change pretty much every year. You don't see Jade Seah and Eunice Olsen getting the prize year after year, only to be boo-ed down the stage and going back into the same competition the next year only to be boo-ed again.
By that equation, the contestants are variables, and so are the sponsors. There is only ONE FIXED CONSTANT year after year, and I believe that my point is pretty evident by now.
Why do I say so?
1) They are extremely unprofessional. So innumerous that it's gonna disrupt the flow of my thoughts if i were to list them all out.
2) They are extremely thick in the head. You would think that after the father stepped down from being the King of teekorpeks, the son that took over would be more energetic in reinstating reforms. But no, sad to say, our senior minister was right in his beliefs in Eugenics.
3) They are extremely lazy, so lazy that they cannot even check their email regularly, and have no corporate etiquette, which then links back to the point that they are not professional.
4) They are very bad liars. It's bad enough that you aren't accoutable for the things that you've done (or rather have not done), it's worse when you tell a lie for it, and cannot even account for the lie.
For all the above stated reasons, I'm surprise that they've never evaluated themselves as the cause of a dip in popularity.
Having said that, I must say that I am terribly displease with our Royal Highness 2008 as well. I was going to refrain from commenting about her on my blog initially, because even after she made "horse rearing look like our national sports and stomping our national dance" in Vietnam, because the interview session went ahead as planned despite a few glitches in the day. But her inability to follow, and the ineffectiveness in getting things doen really had me seething with fire. I thought I was the worse time keeper around, being perpetually late for 15-30 min. But being 6 hours late is a whole new world altogether, only to preach to me about her "rights" as MSU after I've sent in my statements to the media. Nabeh!
Back to the topic of her organizer. Sadly, he didn't back her up at all. Instead he pushed all the blame onto her, citing her lack of ability to follow clear instructions as the cause of all this chaos and misunderstanding. Despite the fact that she obviously had a part in me being very angry now, I believe that she should only bear 10% of the fault.
Lack of support for the queen from the country? Hell yea, especially when her court jester is the one who is slinging mud all over the gown behind her back.
But having dealt with its incumbant organiser just ONCE, it becomes pretty clear with whom the fault lies with.
I mean there must be a reason why no sponsors are willing to pool in their valuable advertsing dollars to be associated with the event. And I can safely tell you, it's not the lack of well-calibred girls we have on this island. Singapore is not lacking in beauties, unless your perception of beauty is restricted to those deathly pale Taiwanese/J-pop lookalikes who carries straw umbrellas everywhere they go.
The fact that we are a modern, cosmopolitan city, pretty much ensures that our girls here are (for the most part), well-groomed, well-travelled and knowledgeable. The fact that our country is wealthy, pretty much ensures that plastic surgery is commonplace, except that we don't embrace it as much as the Koreans. We may not have the most well-endowed girls in the chest department, but we make up for it with wit, grace, willowy-proportions and I dare say (surprise, surprise) we have quite pretty faces.
So why is it that the pageant do not attract as much well-qualified participattion as it intended to? Why is it that the sponsors are not convinced to park their dollars with the organizers? Why are the media all giving bad reviews towards the pageant? It can't be the girls, because the contestants change pretty much every year. You don't see Jade Seah and Eunice Olsen getting the prize year after year, only to be boo-ed down the stage and going back into the same competition the next year only to be boo-ed again.
By that equation, the contestants are variables, and so are the sponsors. There is only ONE FIXED CONSTANT year after year, and I believe that my point is pretty evident by now.
Why do I say so?
1) They are extremely unprofessional. So innumerous that it's gonna disrupt the flow of my thoughts if i were to list them all out.
2) They are extremely thick in the head. You would think that after the father stepped down from being the King of teekorpeks, the son that took over would be more energetic in reinstating reforms. But no, sad to say, our senior minister was right in his beliefs in Eugenics.
3) They are extremely lazy, so lazy that they cannot even check their email regularly, and have no corporate etiquette, which then links back to the point that they are not professional.
4) They are very bad liars. It's bad enough that you aren't accoutable for the things that you've done (or rather have not done), it's worse when you tell a lie for it, and cannot even account for the lie.
For all the above stated reasons, I'm surprise that they've never evaluated themselves as the cause of a dip in popularity.
Having said that, I must say that I am terribly displease with our Royal Highness 2008 as well. I was going to refrain from commenting about her on my blog initially, because even after she made "horse rearing look like our national sports and stomping our national dance" in Vietnam, because the interview session went ahead as planned despite a few glitches in the day. But her inability to follow, and the ineffectiveness in getting things doen really had me seething with fire. I thought I was the worse time keeper around, being perpetually late for 15-30 min. But being 6 hours late is a whole new world altogether, only to preach to me about her "rights" as MSU after I've sent in my statements to the media. Nabeh!
Back to the topic of her organizer. Sadly, he didn't back her up at all. Instead he pushed all the blame onto her, citing her lack of ability to follow clear instructions as the cause of all this chaos and misunderstanding. Despite the fact that she obviously had a part in me being very angry now, I believe that she should only bear 10% of the fault.
Lack of support for the queen from the country? Hell yea, especially when her court jester is the one who is slinging mud all over the gown behind her back.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Engineers and Nostalgia belong to different parellels
I was privileged enough to be part of the entourage that was invited to the Mint Museum of Toys, on the eve of my birthday, coutesy of my client. After a sumptuous dinner spread and plied with a lot of wine, we were given a private tour of the Museum.
Housed in a 5-story building along Seah Street, just opposite Raffles Hotel, the museum holds about 5000 pieces of the private collection by avid toy collector, Chang Yang Fa. Some of these antiques can be traced back to toy makers dating back to more than a century, from more than 25 countries, yet most of which are still in mint condition. Some of the iconic playthings include 1903 Steiff bear, a Batman dispatched in Superman packaging by mistake, a 1930s plush Mickey with creator Walt Disney's signature on its sole, and Golliwogs that were banned because of its perceived racial insensitiveness.
Allow me to digress from my story just so that I can make an insignificant, neutral-toned interjection that my client came from the IT industry, and to simplify my point, the party is pre-dominantly attended by engineers. Computer engineers, software-something-engineers, just engineers in general.
At first the tour didn't generate a lot of intereast amongst the group who made polite nods and lame attempt at small talk during it. Not because the displays were anything less than impressive, but let's just say that toy collection is a very niche past time, and even then, the most avid of toy collectors usually specialize in a particular line of toys, that they can relate to. I would know. So the bunch of engineers were basically just standing around clutching the stem of their tall wine glasses and making feeble attempts to crack some jokes.
Simply put, nostalgia and the historical significance of all these pop-culture relics on display were lost on the herd of C++ professionals present. It was not until the Operations manager started rolling out the value (very very high) of individual items of all these pieces, that engineers around me jolted to attention.
Operations Manager: "This Robot that you see in the display, it's now worth USD$30,000"
Engineer: "Where, where, where? I want to see the $13,000 robot." (Takes a picture for keepsake)I take picture to tell my son so that he can keep his robot.
Operations Manager: "This piece that I'm currently showing is the only one that you'll ever see in public display. The only other 2 in the world remains in private collection."
Engineer: "Is this expensive too? I want to see all the expensive pieces. Bring us to see the most expensive one."
Engineer in symphony:
-"How come this kind of things also can be so expensive ah?"
-"If I had known, I'd ask my mother to keep all my toys."
-"How much is the most expensive toy here? Bring us to see the most expensive one"
Dear engineers, can I just roll my eyes at you?
(i) Out of the 1000 toys that you have, you will probably only have 1 that is worth that much. And only a truly passionate toy lover would be discerning enough to spot it. Those drool-filled puzzles and plastic pirated spiderman figures that you bargain off the Pasar Malam at Chinatown, they might even be tossed out after being excavated by archaelogists 10,000 years later. It will only probably be worth something if human being morph into creatures with tentacles and are born with inverted fishbowls over our heads.
(ii) Toys and comics might just just junk to you, it is in many conscious or subconscious way, a reflection of the pop-culture and mass sentiments during the period. Did you know the implications of having a superman character during World War II? Did you know why the procelain monkey figurines from Hong Kong were patterned with flower prints that is faintly remniscent of the British country side? Did you know the social implications of a Golliwog?
Contrary to what you think, the showcasing of toys from the "good old days" doens't mean that "the rich culture of the past is dead". Culture never dies. It moves on, it changes form, and the shift from wooden, tin and cloth toys to the mass manufacture of plastic toys is a clear indication of that. There is nothing sad about toys made of plastic. They are durable and they can be made to look very good.
Perhaps its the snob in me that is looking down on their ignorance, but I think it's a shame for such colossal effort at sharing history to be undermined by people who measure everything in monetary terms.
Let me put it in a very crude way: it doens't matter how much money it fetches, because it will never be yours.
*PS: The owner of this toy collection happens to be an engineer too. :P So logically speaking I should put the adjective *MOST* in my title, but I think the title sound more catchy without.
Housed in a 5-story building along Seah Street, just opposite Raffles Hotel, the museum holds about 5000 pieces of the private collection by avid toy collector, Chang Yang Fa. Some of these antiques can be traced back to toy makers dating back to more than a century, from more than 25 countries, yet most of which are still in mint condition. Some of the iconic playthings include 1903 Steiff bear, a Batman dispatched in Superman packaging by mistake, a 1930s plush Mickey with creator Walt Disney's signature on its sole, and Golliwogs that were banned because of its perceived racial insensitiveness.
Allow me to digress from my story just so that I can make an insignificant, neutral-toned interjection that my client came from the IT industry, and to simplify my point, the party is pre-dominantly attended by engineers. Computer engineers, software-something-engineers, just engineers in general.
At first the tour didn't generate a lot of intereast amongst the group who made polite nods and lame attempt at small talk during it. Not because the displays were anything less than impressive, but let's just say that toy collection is a very niche past time, and even then, the most avid of toy collectors usually specialize in a particular line of toys, that they can relate to. I would know. So the bunch of engineers were basically just standing around clutching the stem of their tall wine glasses and making feeble attempts to crack some jokes.
Simply put, nostalgia and the historical significance of all these pop-culture relics on display were lost on the herd of C++ professionals present. It was not until the Operations manager started rolling out the value (very very high) of individual items of all these pieces, that engineers around me jolted to attention.
Operations Manager: "This Robot that you see in the display, it's now worth USD$30,000"
Engineer: "Where, where, where? I want to see the $13,000 robot." (Takes a picture for keepsake)I take picture to tell my son so that he can keep his robot.
Operations Manager: "This piece that I'm currently showing is the only one that you'll ever see in public display. The only other 2 in the world remains in private collection."
Engineer: "Is this expensive too? I want to see all the expensive pieces. Bring us to see the most expensive one."
Engineer in symphony:
-"How come this kind of things also can be so expensive ah?"
-"If I had known, I'd ask my mother to keep all my toys."
-"How much is the most expensive toy here? Bring us to see the most expensive one"
Dear engineers, can I just roll my eyes at you?
(i) Out of the 1000 toys that you have, you will probably only have 1 that is worth that much. And only a truly passionate toy lover would be discerning enough to spot it. Those drool-filled puzzles and plastic pirated spiderman figures that you bargain off the Pasar Malam at Chinatown, they might even be tossed out after being excavated by archaelogists 10,000 years later. It will only probably be worth something if human being morph into creatures with tentacles and are born with inverted fishbowls over our heads.
(ii) Toys and comics might just just junk to you, it is in many conscious or subconscious way, a reflection of the pop-culture and mass sentiments during the period. Did you know the implications of having a superman character during World War II? Did you know why the procelain monkey figurines from Hong Kong were patterned with flower prints that is faintly remniscent of the British country side? Did you know the social implications of a Golliwog?
Contrary to what you think, the showcasing of toys from the "good old days" doens't mean that "the rich culture of the past is dead". Culture never dies. It moves on, it changes form, and the shift from wooden, tin and cloth toys to the mass manufacture of plastic toys is a clear indication of that. There is nothing sad about toys made of plastic. They are durable and they can be made to look very good.
Perhaps its the snob in me that is looking down on their ignorance, but I think it's a shame for such colossal effort at sharing history to be undermined by people who measure everything in monetary terms.
Let me put it in a very crude way: it doens't matter how much money it fetches, because it will never be yours.
*PS: The owner of this toy collection happens to be an engineer too. :P So logically speaking I should put the adjective *MOST* in my title, but I think the title sound more catchy without.
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