The world's most fashionable feline stars as the new M.A.C. icon

Teaser:

1) What is 5 apples tall and weighs 3 apples?
2) What has no mouth because she speaks from her heart?"

Answers to be revealed after tonight...
I can't believe it, but I am actually excited about this. Very excited.

I know I am a little too old for this, but ah lian-ness is a tenacious characteristic that clings onto you for life.

Culturally sensitive bras

A friend once lamented, that of the women he has met during all his travels, Asian women are the most obsessed with maximizer bras. Regretably for most of us , our genetic makeup has made underwires, (THICK) cotton paddings and (BIG) and gel inserts a necessity.

So once not too long ago, on one of my never-ending quest to better maximizer, I chanced upon a Very Sexy® Demi multi-way bra with Gel-Curve® from one of the world's most glamourous lingerie maker, Victoria's Secret. It looks like this:

And it reads like this:

• Seductive cleavage.
• Ultra low shape hides under low-cut necklines.
• Gel-Curve® padding for lift and cleavage.
• Wear 5 ways: strapless, halter, crossback, one-strap or regular
• Swell Level 4: Padded for extreme lift• Hidden underwire :D:D:D
• Orig. $53. Clearance $19.99

Swell level of 4 with EXTREME lift. Sweet. Sounds to me that the kind of cleavages that spill out of a Victoria's Secret catalogue is no longer something that I can only gaze upon in teary admiration.

With the gel-curve padding, I get to bounce around really convincingly.

And you get to pretend to be a whole cup bigger for only $19.99. Double yayness. I dunno about you, but it sounds like a dream to me.

Sad to say, the supposed super bra fell short of my expectations when it arrived. To be honest, before I I checked the tag, I thought they had sent me something 2 sizes too big, and while the size turn out to be fine on me, the cleavage was still almost non-existent. So, unless the product clearly states that it gives you a swell level of 20 times, you can forget about looking like any of the blondies in Victoria's Secret catalogue. I blame it on cultural differences because it appears to me as if an American cup B = Asian cup B, American Cup C = Asian Cup D.

I mean how else is it logically possible for petite Jolin Tsai to own a pair of G-Cup assets, while Pamela Anderson's renowned record-breaking titties are only a double D in size?

So yes, we are obsessed with trying to look bigger because of our inherent shortcomings, but with a need comes innovation, and I daresay that we are also extremely innovative in coming up with ways to deceive men and the rest of the world with regards to our cup sizes. While VS and some other American brands have failed, some of the wonderbras Japanese and Taiwanese brands have the ability to create something phenomenal (read: you can hold a pencil in between) out of almost nothingness.

With all these god-sent garment floating around in the market at such reasonable prices, I'd say why not. After all, we have nothing to lose, it's just the men who will begin to "wonder where it all went" without the wonder bras.

The cry of Red Shoes in distress

Hi,


I am a gorgeous pair of red satin bow back red heels who has just arrived in town from UK. ASOS to be exact.




With a pointed front, slim 4-inches long legs, a svelte body encassed in a smooth coat of red satin and a suggestive bow to back, I can bring you from boardroom to *ahem* bedroom, if you like. I can make sure you will be the star of the night, the center of attention. I am like the trophy girlfriend that any man would be proud to dangle off their arms.


Like a mail-ordered bride, I was ordered to satisfied the lust of my owner. It was love at first sight when she first saw me...I mean my picture. Not that I wasn't pretty enough for her, but she was so overwhelmed with thoughts of whatever she would be doing with me, that she forgot to read the fine prints.

She prefers the US Size 8, ie a UK size 6; but yours truly is a UK size 8, ie a US size 10.

In a nutshell, she couldn't fill me up and I wasn't tight enough to satisfy her.

Rather than being sent back in disgrace, she has decided to help me find a new owner.

Here's me, the picture that made her fell head-over-heels in love with me.

And there is that of my black sister. I begged my owner to put an image of her beside me, just so that my beauty would seem more apparent.



Never been sullied, never been worn around; only been tested. (ie foot was inserted in once, and that is not counted)

Heel height: 4"; US Size 10, UK size 8.
Call me if you like me, I can be yours for just S$38.

Faux pas...

Animal prints were the rage on the runway for Fall/Winter 08, with leopard, zebra, tiger prints spotted on bags, stoles, dresses and hat trimmings.



But it becomes faux pas when you turn up for work in a tasteful ensemble of satin leopard blouse with black high-waisted pencil skirt, and your senior turns up with an equally glamorous looking leopard print dress.



It is not so bad if the both of you just sit at the 2 far ends of the office and try not to be seen together as far as the day progresses.

But it gets awfully embarrassing when the both of you are scheduled for a meeting with your client who manages an international beauty brand, together with her entire suite of advertising and retail personnels. And unfortunately for us, this client is a well-groomed woman who knows her Marc Jacobs from Dior and Versace.

So we fibbed and said that we just came from a PR pitch for Night Safari.

Review on Fancl liquid foundation

From Liquid foundation to Mineral foundation, now I'm back knocking on the doors of liquid foundation. But having tried the preservative-free, light weight cosmetic promised by most popular mineral makeups, I doubt I'll ever want to be subjected to harmful substance that most cosmetic giants put into their makeup, ever again.

Of all the major beauty brands in the world, the Japanese are said to make the best cosmetics. And when we talk about preservative-free cosmetics, naturally one of the pioneers in preservative-free skincare, FANCL, comes to mind. Well at least it came to mine because there is one outlet just within walking distance from my house when I was on the hunt for the perfect foundation with no irritants.

Being a newb to the range, I was naturally cautious and skeptical, and decided to try on only the liquid foundation, at S$35 for a 3 months supply.
One week later and I was completely won over.

Application and Coverage
Unlike most liquid f, the FANCL liquid foundation has a thin-watery consistency with sheer to medium coverage = No sticky feeling on skin. Foundation evens out smoothly with pearlescent finish, which is good because it distracts the eye away from any noticeable imperfection, without making you look like a disco ball. In short, it means a slightly dewy flawless skin without having to wear a cake-like mask.

Oil Control
Regulates sebum production pretty well, without over drying your skin. If you fancy a more refreshing (or wetter feel), you can dry the Milky liquid foundation. Not me. I like it weightless.

Oxidization (*****5 brownie points)
This is the only foundation I've tried so far that doesn't oxidize on my skin.
Cosmetic oxidization happened to be one of my greatest beauty woes. Usually before the day ends, any shade of foundation on my face will turn at least 3 shades darker than my actual skin tone, and that's when I will be the butt of all Pinoy jokes.

Shelf life VS Price
Unlike my L'oreal foundation whic lasted through my entire Uni days (and mind you, I apply makeup almost every school day), this compact bottle sits well for only 3 months.
It works out to be about S$11.70 per month, and less than S$0.50 per day (given that there are 25 working days in a month). Not too great an investment, for a daily airbrushed look.

My only gripe is that....
they have very limited shades. The one that I am using Natural light (02), is just about a shade too light. The next shade in the range, Orche Light (03) is too yellow and the next next, Natural Medium (04) is too dark.

Verdict: My Holy Grail foundation for the mo.
For a rare gem that doesn't cause the sebum on my skin to oxidize before the day is over, I can live with its lack of a perfect colour match in the range.

Slaves that charge by the hour

The world is getting weirder with sites that rents out sex slaves.

I chanced upon it while doing my habitual trawling of the world wide web, and it took my breath away, mostly because my boss was in the same room.

Buyers can select slaves based on a few criterias:
-Degree of submissiveness
-tolerance of pain
-And some shit that I cannot remember but is too chickened to "reload" the page to view it again

The slaves even have resumes or profile, presumably documenting their bevy of experience.
They might even have customer testimonials, but I'm too ball-less to explore further.

On the note of slaves, I overheard the grouch of a counterpart who just got off an extremely gruelling conference session with her client.

She said, "PR is a very bad profession for females. We tell clients that we charge fees by the hour and service them to their level of satisfaction."

Such is in a day's work.

Shoe Whore

Bette Midler once said something along the lines of "Give a girl the right pair of shoes, and she can conquer the world."

That remark struck a chord and made me notice her, and I would have agreed with her wholeheartdly, except that I believe in a more refined version of that statment, "Give a girl a pair of high heels, and she can conquer the world." Such legendary powers of heels are not conceived of mere urban legends.

A pair of nice heels instantly glams up any blah outfit and make average legs appear better, longer. They make a woman look taller, change their appearance, change their posture and change their mood.

I don't know of that many things with such extraordinary powers. That is why I can never have enough of heels. Women who wields a pair of heels on her feet wield a powerful weapon. Many have tried to convince me otherwise, but knowing that they are the basis of my self-confidence, and so usually I just shake my head politely and strut away.

But by heels, I am not refering to those with sad 2" stubs sold at Charles & Keith. I am talking about the real well-crafted hardcore feet-stuff that are at least 3.5" in height -Pumps, Mary Janes, Espadrilles, toe-cleavage baring peep-toes, booties, whetever they are, the qualifying factor comes from the structure of the heel.

Victoria Beckham knows, just look at her extensive collection of splendidly built stillettos: Manolos, Marc Jacobs and Balenciaga. They took David Beckham, and the rest of the world's breath away. Tell me if I am wrong...

Having said that, yours truly has yet to reach the kind of social status when she can buy a pair of Louboutins to sashay around town in them and not feel a pinch when its 4" spike gets caught in between floor/drain gaps. Neither does she have a walk in shoe cabinet of cheap looking plastic patent heels smuggled in from China.

Instead she monitors Amazon impatiently for their yearly back-friday sale (which happens like now) and treats herself to an annual 5 pair of heavily discounted mid-range heels with spikes that look just a little less enslaving.

As a friend aptly puts, "Your feet are made for wicked stilettos....those that make me worship the ground you walk on....."

Guess, Nine West, Colin Stuart and Charles David here I come!!!

LOL.