How legitimate are smoke breaks?

The smokers in my office make their daily pilgrimage, climbing 3 storeys down to the designated smoking area for a puff or two. They do that repetitively over the course of the day, while the non-smoking yours truly has her fat ass stuck onto the chair and eyes glued onto the too-glaring computer, frantically typing away to meet one of ther many deadlines.

And that got me wondering; I wondered, not because I was sore about the fact that my smoking colleagues gets about an hour of extra break everyday due to their nicotine addiction, but because I am woman and can multi-task between writing a press release, doing research and conjuring up fancy scenarios like this.

Although I have nothing against the act of smoking, and in fact have a sick obsession with inhaling the intoxicating second-hand fumes from Virginia Slims, I know for a fact that it is socially regarded as a bad habit.

Even though the frequent MC-takers are usually the non-smokers, it is scientifically proven that smokers are less likely to remain healthy for the company in the long run. Besides, to whom should we bill the additional 1 hour that is burnt off each day on chugging over-priced rolled up tobacco sticks?

Therefore theoretically, isn't it unprofitable for a company to encourage such habits, considering that smokers, too, take tea/food/shit/chitchat breaks like the rest of us.

And if smoke breaks are acceptable, why aren't fuck breaks acceptable?
Supposing smokers take a smoke break of 10 minutes every 2 hourly, that will add up to 40 minutes of extra break-time for every 8-hour working day. For a quickie, 20 minutes would suffice, and supposing I only take 2 fuck breaks a day, I wouldn't be taking any more time off than the smokers in my company.

Fucking, carried out safely, is a healthy activity. it releases endorphines which increases work productivity, with no known negative side effects. Even insurance agents don't increase your premium for indulging in sexual activities more than twice a day, unlike that of smokers.

But I don't foresee bosses to be thrilled if such a scenario were to arise:

"Boss, I am feeling horny now, can I cross over to the next building for a quickie?"

Or when moving offices,"Boss, where's the nearest quickie area?" as opposed to, "Boss, where is the nearest smoking area?"

In fact, I think by asking the former, I'd be more likely to get the sack sooner.

But my point is, both are fringe activites that eat off time from work. Both are time-consuming activities that will take time off one's usual working schedule. But if one is a lesser evil than the other, why isn't it accepted?

That said, I am not about to start indulging in fuck breaks anytime soon, nor am I secretly jealous of my smoking counterparts for having "more" break-time than me. As stated right at the beginning of this entry, this is purely stemmed out of my own nonsensical musings following a very interesting discussion with a friend.

And also because I am a multi-task-abled woman.

Latest PR trivialities from the rumour mill

News coming from a better-informed source on industry happenings than Marketing Magazine is always welcomed, especially when it is a piece of negative news regarding a certain brightly coloured Public Relations agency which I absolutely detest.

For the purpose of this entry, lets call my source "Live radar"

Live radar has it that the PR agency's cocky-windbag of a PR Manager pissed off a major client and told her to "Fuck off" upon her scrutiny of his lacklustre work, mostly because he was unable to deliver what was expected of him.

In addition to that, the EXTREMELY high turnover rate of that particular company for the past 1 year has been under constant scrutiny and a hot gossip topic among industry people, including the recent resignation of a respectable and experienced senior within the company.

I could go on and on about how that aforementioned Manager looks like the kind of fish stewed in curry fish head because of his huge prominent fish lips and fish-like jaws; or how I mistook a HUGE sack of potatoes lying on the floor at a grocery store, for one of their top executives and yelped in horror. (The key word is HUGE, hence it is hihglighted in bold)

Disclaimer: The above narrative is completely fictitious (if you believe me) :D:D

Play in the LUXE mansion

Fancy being served with strawberries-in-champagne by sexy male butlers (read:topless and buff)?

Wanna be among the first in the whole of Asia Pacific to preview?

Then RSVP to my gmail by 10th October 2008 (FRIDAY) with your contact details and I will reply you.

My office contact details are being cropped away to prevent some jokers from dropping bombs.

To DIDA: Too bad, I would have asked you, but now I can only ask Lisa. lol~

Put your old bras to good use

Do you have bras that you refuse to wear because they look like they are for women above the ago of 70? Or perhaps they just don't fit any more? Donate them to The Salvation Army through any Chalone outlet this October. Donated bras can be of any colour and brands but should be in clean, good and wearable condition.

On top of that, get a rebate value of up tot $40 if you purchase a Chalone bra at the same time.

October is the Breast Cancer Awareness month, and in support of the activities organized by the Breast Cancer Foundation. Breast cancer is the commonest cancer in Singapore women and about 1000 women are diagnosed with the cancer annually. Wear the pink ribbon in support of the activities organized by the breast cancer association.

Manipulation Centre

Came across this while wandering around Chinatown Pearl Centre...

I shudder to think what kind of "manipulation" goes on in there...

It's great being a woman

I came across this while surfing, and I had to share...

HAPPIEST FAIRY TALE EVER!

Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl “Will you marry me?” The girl said “NO!” And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank whole bottles of wine, always had a clean house, never had to cook, did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn’t get fat, traveled more, saved money, and had all the bed and bed-sheets to herself. She went to the theatre, never watched sports, never wore fricken lacy lingerie that went up her arse, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, and felt and looked fabulous all the time.

- THE END -





It's funny, but I shared, mostly because it seemed like a good prologue for showing-off the half-page advertisement on the Straits Times, starring me.



Like the title suggests. It's great to be a woman.

Becoming a maid

"Auctioning myself off as a maid for S$3000++ a month. Cleanliness not guaranteed. No extra services."

For some strange reason, I have a knack for steering conversation topics towards that pertaining my friends' domestic helpers...that got me thinking about the potentials of a career swtich. To maid-ing. (My boss will start to sniff at me suspiciously if he reads this)

"I overpay my maid so that she will stay. She comes once a week and has been cleaning for my family for the past 10 years."

"I think my maid earns more than you in a month"

"My maid works for half a day and I think she's paid about $3K plus from all the homes that she works for"

"I introduced my maid to all my friends and now she earns a tidy income cleaning house for all of them"

The best part of being an ad-hoc maid is that you don't pay taxes. No income tax, no GST and all the smlj taxes that the gahment throw at you.

Forget about being a public relations executive, forget about a career in teaching, even modelling isn't as lucrative as there are good months and bad months as trends fade in and out. Cleaning on the other hand, never goes out of fashion and is always in demand, consistently.

"But my cleaner works long hours/ My cleaner works very hard."
Well mister, so do I.

"The detergent and soap is bad for your hands and skin"
Well, my hands aren't very nice in the first place. I've already conceded that men with a thing for hand will not give a hoot about me, so why bother. Plus there's a thing call 'glove', that people wear when they perform domestic chores.

"It's hard labour"
It pays me to train my fat ass into a cute(r) ass, which in turn has a 50% chance of distracting my employer from the fact that I am actually terrible at cleaning.

Any takers?



Disclaimer: It's one of those crazy ideas that is conjured out of a hard day at work.