15th Nov 2006

It's a month and 10 days from Christmas. Last christmas was spent in New Zealand, eating muffins and driving for miles on very very low petrol, and finally drinking very very bad tasting Lion Beer. haha or was it Leopard Beer or Red Beer I can't remember, but it was the first christmas with ZY, and my whole family. It was a nice christmas, and exams were the last thing on my mind.

Somehow, things seemed different this sem. I almost forgot Christmas was coming until I went to town the other day and was wondering why they had all those Christmas trees up on display. Perhaps its the age thing. Yes man I've aged(not alot, but still older)... But looking back on the darker days when I was younger, the time when I trusted no one, had faith in nothing, when my future seemed bleak and happiness seemed elusive; growing old seems to have brought me a sunnier disposition in life. Zy in my life especially made life much appealing to me. The eating disorder stopped, stopped thinking about alot of things in morbid ways. Oh well, even if Christmas won't be as fun as last year, it'll be as warm. And maybe I'll ask for a anti-wrinkle face mask from Santa. I've been buring too much midlight oil of late, and I kind of like my face still without the addition of some fine lines etc.

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Finally, tomorrow after presenting our case as General Schwarzkopf during the class simulation on Gulf War, I'd be almost done with mid terms and miscellanous projects. Just 1 other write-up for film and history. Man that module suck. It has no relation to history, I mean it could be labelled as an American Studies module or something and I wouldn't have touched it. EVen though "war" modules are difficult, I think I am going to get a worse grade for than stupid module than all my other warring history module. Seriously, one can never get a sense of what the teacher actually wants. If you get bad grades for that module, you'll always get a bad grade, ie, either you are good at that sort of thing or you are dead. Like me. I feel so demoralized getting lousy grade after lousy grade for that module that I feel its most certainly going to hinder my progress. And to think there is no way out. No way to improve. I seriously do not think I'm lousy, because I dont get lousy grades for all my other modules, except that one. Sigh...

Anyway, like above mentioned, the rest of my papers I did not to badly, and part of my not too bad grades is the effort of ZY. haha. No I didnt force him to write my essays for me although I'd have loved to. To any of my Professors out there reading my blog,

I WROTE ALL MY ESSAYS MYSELF OKIE, NO PLAGARISM, NO BRIBERY.

Anyway, he helped me alot in the sense that he helped me to proof read, make me cut long winded, unnecessary sentence, correct my incoherent, and cook me nice or sometimes burnt dinner when I am rushing to meet a deadline. Hug me tight when I think I'm going to die from writing essay and help me zap reference books, bring me to National Library to find reference books when all those stoopid KUKUs in NUS borrow all the books that I need for research. Make me tea when I'm going to fall asleep and ATTEMPT to stay up with me so that I won't go into a sudden panic mode and freak out in the dark all by myself. He's not a history major so he cant write essays for me. I must emphasize. I love you and thank you for all that you've done for me baby. Muackz!

But the last few days or the last 1 or 2 weeks, I've been really really sick. Maybe because I've been burnt out, or maybe because ZY's sicka nd he passed all his virus to me, I became sick too. And I slept like a lot for the past 2 days. I almost didnt wake up at all. Haha...but then after I had had to wake up for lesson today, I didn't want to wake up despite spending more than 15 hours on bed for the past 2 days.

Time to stop modelling, shopping, and start studying for exams. I'll just pray hard that my grades for Film and History don't get so low that I cannot make it for my honours. Maybe I'll go back to Thailand Erawan Shrine to pray. The last sem that I did that I got pretty decent grades. Hurhurhur.... ZY too.