A Quintessentially Singaporean Halloween

When I was growing up, Halloween was the kind of stuff that only existed in Enid Blyton story books and American TV shows. There was no dressing up as ghouls and the undead, and Singaporean kids did not go trick or treating. The only time that anyone would look like a goblin was if they were ugly, short, round and insisted on wearing green stockings.

But when it became legal for me to drink and enter clubs, Halloween morphed into a phenomenal costume party where men could make an appearance as Hooter girls with squeezable 38E boobs, and whales could go into town wearing, fishnet stockings low-cut corsets and micro mini skirts, without being tossed back into the zoo.

The scene at Butter Factory was riotous, not to mention hilarious, when my friends and I arrived at 12mn.

I was guilty of not dressing up in a theme because T refused to come as a toothfairy in pink tutu that showed his hairy legs and Cyn refused to turn up in public without her fake eyelashes that got lost somewhere in Malaysia.

And while I told everyone that I would be going as Lady Gaga, I had trouble finding a matching black granny underpants that matched my black corset - for some strange reason, they only sold those in granny beige. Plus the only silver wig that I found was from Toys'R'us that kept popping up on my head.

I was getting a lot of, "Hey why are you not dressed up!"

Me: "Yes, can't you tell, I'm actually a man in disguise?"

Here are some of the really cool (and funny) ones that I managed to capture before alcohol made everything so funny that all my pictures were a blur.

The Emperor whom I mistook for a Eunuch.

The girl with the missile boobs

Penthouse cover girl!

The O'Darling tissue with issues

There was also a pair of dudes who came as Emily Howard and Florence from Little Britain. Decked in Victorian laces, petticoats and parasols, they spoke in Little Britain-esque voice, and behaved just like any 2 ladies going about their normal "ladylike business", downing "lady drinks" and saying "But I'm a lady...I do lady things".


At one point, after being plied with copious amount of alcohol, I started prancing on the row of couches in FASH's VIP area, pretending to be Lady Gaga, totally disregarding the beat of the song that was being played. A waitress from Butter tried to coax me to come down before I told her this:

"Haahahaha...don't bluff. You pretend to work for Butter by wearing the Butter Factory Uniform, don't think I cannot tell."

Clearly she wasn't too amused.

In Singapore, instead of candied apples and carved pumpkins, we have lots of alcohol and drunk vampires; instead of girls dressing up as fairies and tinkerbells, we have men dressing up as centerfold girls or cleavage baring witches with garter belts.

Nobody really knows what Halloween is, or what it is about, as long as you get to laugh at people, be laughed at, have lots of fun, drink lots of alcohol and have a hangover the next morning. When Halloween comes to Singapore, it turns into a circus for adults to dress up in silly costumes, act stupid and get away with it.

4 things you must do when you visit Phuket

1. Bring a pensive little companion.

2. Take a ride on the real Songthaew.

Take a public bus ride from Kata beach to Phuket town just for the sake of it. Those come in intervals and you ride for a flat fee of 30 baht (about S$1++). They are really slow though. Don't be conned by a Tuk Tuk which will rip you off for 200 baht for a distance that you can easily walk.

3. Eat Italian food
Don't know where I've heard this or from whom, but legend has it that the best Japanese food outside of Japan can be found in Brazil; and the best Italian food outside of Italy can be found in Phuket. While I haven't tasted any orgasmic Italian food during my stay in Phuket (probably because I haven't found it and because I can only eat 3 meals a day) there are so many authentic eateries there that

4. Show off your bikini and frolick in the sea.

Phuket: The land of excess

An excesss of masseuse, nail parlours, tailors and Italian Restaurants.
Day after day, from the beach side to the secluded soi to a makeshift push cart.
No differentiation, no diversification.
It's an excess of the same things.


Too many saggy white whales populating the beaches,
Frolicking in the sun with their young Asian wives.
The image is somewhat disturbing, so ermm
'nuff said.

Too much unfulfilled promises of the beautiful underwater world,

and pristine white beaches nestled against the Andaman Sea.

The stark seabed and piles of dead corals destroyed by the Tsunami

That bore no vestiges of its glorious past as a paradise on earth.

Too many dark skinned girls or "girls" in miniskirts gyrating clumsily in Go-Go Bars

Luring the lone White traveller with alcohol and their not-so-nubile body

"But look, we are Oriental and exotic.

We can show you our tits and we love you big big."

It doesn't matter if you have a big belly, or if you look so old that the excitement from a blowjob will kill you.

It's okay as long as you are White and have the money.

A beach resort that is an excess of a beach resort.

Everything is built to look like a resort, and everywhere sells bikinis and sun block.

But it is a place where you get overwhelmed by the theatrics of its excessiveness,

And you forget, and you really do,

With the heat from the sun, the tranquility from the sea and the loud music;

With the pain from a sun burn and the distraction from too many hot bodies.

You momentarily forget...

(even whales forget that they are still whales)

How to politely refuse a Tuk Tuk ride in Phuket

During one of those long random walks along Kata Beach in Phuket, I fell in love with a T-shirt that says:

"I f*cking do not want a Thai massage,

tailor a suit

or ride a Tuk tuk,

so leave me alone!"

I bought it but regreted doing so also immediately because I don't think I'll ever have the guts to wear it.

Birthdays to me

At 5,
It meant going to school with blackforrest birthday cakes and pretty hair ribbons.
It meant I was the envy of all the boys and girls in kindergarten, with gifts of pink lollipops, and apple flavoured gummies.
It meant excitement.

At 8,

It meant Daddy coming home early with a birthday cake and McDonald's nuggets.

It meant wishing upon the candle wick that I'll grow up to be pretty and smart.

It meant simple, uncomplicated joy.

At 10,
Birthdays meant lots of friends, slumber parties and sweet valley kids books.
It meant going for water-rides in Sentosa, eating popcorns and hotdogs.
It meant fun.

At 12,
It meant having a new little brother who commanded everyone's attention.
It meant tolerating your Mother's post-natal depression - yelling, crying and bearing the brunt for everything that went wrong in the house.
It meant responsibilities.

At 15,
It meant being asked out on a date, with a single stalk of rose and earrings from Perlini's Silver.
It meant trying to look nonchalent when he tried to hold your sweaty palms to cross the road.
It meant a whole night of insomnia, feeling dizzy with the thought of having a boyfriend.
It meant the taste of first-love.

At 18,
It meant that Daddy couldn't come home and nobody remembered.
It meant putting on a brave front despite all the screaming, anger, and flying objects.
It meant nursing a boyfriend problem.
It meant hours of crying under the table, and blowing out a single candle by myself.
It meant sadness.

At 20,
It meant going moving away from home to live on campus, without your parents.
It meant making new friends, clubbing and drinking for the first time.
It meant cussing like a sailor.
It meant a new found sexuality.
It meant freedom.

At 22,
It meant being in-love, and being loved.
It meant a familiar scent, your favourite wine, and a quiet celebration with the family eating crabs at Toa Payoh.
It meant contentment.

At 24,
It meant working in front of your computer.
It meant numbing yourself with episodes of transient happiness.
It meant crying your eyes out because you feel all sucky and you don't really know what you want to do with your life and you have nobody to speak to.
It meant loneliness.

"What Girls Think" of Amara Sanctuary Resort

Catch me in my bimbo moments with SauceInk's series of "What Girls Think?" - as we tour Singapore to bring you the very best (and candid/unrehearsed) review.

For our debut, we visited the Amara Sanctuary Resort.

On a separate occassion, I had the good fortune of visiting their two-bedroom villa (image) below: Featuring an outdoor bathroom, and 2 rooms adjourned by a pool. Being a sucker for outdoor bathrooms and idyllic living, I thought the place was so beautiful, that I think I teared a little when I left for the day.


Nestled on the hillside of Sentosa's Palawan Beach offering its guests great seclusion, the Amara Sanctuary resort bears vestiges of Singapore's rich colonial past. Tastefully blending old-fashion romance with chic modernity, it's hard not to fall in love with the place.

Although it's not my maiden visit here, this was the first time that I was given a VIP tour of the place, and here're the highlights that makes the place oh-so-worth your buck.

Upon arrival, we were hosted at Shutters, a casual fusion restaurant with an open-concept kitchen. Amara Sanctuary doesn't only have 1, but 5 dining areas, including the ever-famous ThanYing Thai Restaurant, which (unfortunately) we didn't go to :(





The Infinity Pool
The sky Infinity Pool on the rooftop overlooks the South China Sea and it seems to stretch endlessly over the edge, and here's the best part. The inifinity pool area bans children from entering - That sounds like paradise to me


The courtyard suite
You would never believe it, but the 2-storey colonial-style Courtyard Suites were created from former British Sergeants’ quarters from the 1930s. It features an outdoor courtyard with a sunbed (that I am sitting on), a sumptuous four-poster bed with super high-thread count bedsheets (gasp!) , and a Jacuzzi in its own private garden.


The Jacuzzi in private garden was a winner for most of the girls.

Enough of my boring ramble...catch me on sauceINK's "What Girls Think".




*An early bird who caught the preview texted me the following,
U r so not you in the "What Girls Think" video! Ha...I can see you are struggling to keep the real you from surfacing! :-D

What can I say, except that even bimbos have their shy moments lah.

Bring my sexy back

After eons of not blogging, I'm back with a scary picture of my back.

My sedentary lifestyle of hunching over the computer, and alternative lifestyle of partying till the wee hours of the morning has taken a toll on my health, with frequent shoulder aches and insomnia. While the rest of my friends sought expensive spa treatments from Banyan Tree, I paid a visit to a Chinese sinseh at a TCM clinic in Rocher to get thrashed up.

For about S$80 and 2.5 hours, you get the following done to you:

• Ba Mai: Get a calibration of your body's nerves, channels and vital points to determine your type of "illness"
• Shua: Scrub Therapy
• Gua Sha: Scrapping Therapy to improve ciculation and to remove the toxic heat and "qi" in your body (This is VERY motherfucking painful)
• Zou Guan & Ba Guan: Cupping Therapy to release the stagnant "chi" in the body
• Pressed, Prodded, Slapped, Pinched and Kneaded

While I was glad to come out in one-piece with a general sense of relaxation, the Ba Guan and Gua Sha gave me HUGE FUGLY purple welts and splotches as seen from the picture. Guess I won't be going to the beach or be seen painitng the town red in skimpy outfits for a while till the marks go away.