A Quintessentially Singaporean Halloween

When I was growing up, Halloween was the kind of stuff that only existed in Enid Blyton story books and American TV shows. There was no dressing up as ghouls and the undead, and Singaporean kids did not go trick or treating. The only time that anyone would look like a goblin was if they were ugly, short, round and insisted on wearing green stockings.

But when it became legal for me to drink and enter clubs, Halloween morphed into a phenomenal costume party where men could make an appearance as Hooter girls with squeezable 38E boobs, and whales could go into town wearing, fishnet stockings low-cut corsets and micro mini skirts, without being tossed back into the zoo.

The scene at Butter Factory was riotous, not to mention hilarious, when my friends and I arrived at 12mn.

I was guilty of not dressing up in a theme because T refused to come as a toothfairy in pink tutu that showed his hairy legs and Cyn refused to turn up in public without her fake eyelashes that got lost somewhere in Malaysia.

And while I told everyone that I would be going as Lady Gaga, I had trouble finding a matching black granny underpants that matched my black corset - for some strange reason, they only sold those in granny beige. Plus the only silver wig that I found was from Toys'R'us that kept popping up on my head.

I was getting a lot of, "Hey why are you not dressed up!"

Me: "Yes, can't you tell, I'm actually a man in disguise?"

Here are some of the really cool (and funny) ones that I managed to capture before alcohol made everything so funny that all my pictures were a blur.

The Emperor whom I mistook for a Eunuch.

The girl with the missile boobs

Penthouse cover girl!

The O'Darling tissue with issues

There was also a pair of dudes who came as Emily Howard and Florence from Little Britain. Decked in Victorian laces, petticoats and parasols, they spoke in Little Britain-esque voice, and behaved just like any 2 ladies going about their normal "ladylike business", downing "lady drinks" and saying "But I'm a lady...I do lady things".


At one point, after being plied with copious amount of alcohol, I started prancing on the row of couches in FASH's VIP area, pretending to be Lady Gaga, totally disregarding the beat of the song that was being played. A waitress from Butter tried to coax me to come down before I told her this:

"Haahahaha...don't bluff. You pretend to work for Butter by wearing the Butter Factory Uniform, don't think I cannot tell."

Clearly she wasn't too amused.

In Singapore, instead of candied apples and carved pumpkins, we have lots of alcohol and drunk vampires; instead of girls dressing up as fairies and tinkerbells, we have men dressing up as centerfold girls or cleavage baring witches with garter belts.

Nobody really knows what Halloween is, or what it is about, as long as you get to laugh at people, be laughed at, have lots of fun, drink lots of alcohol and have a hangover the next morning. When Halloween comes to Singapore, it turns into a circus for adults to dress up in silly costumes, act stupid and get away with it.