Bangkok - The land of unexpected adventures

Thailand is a land of smiles for tourists, and they say that if you know how to exercise your tourist rights, you'll never be bored or alone. Whether you are revelling in the company of with a bewitchingly beautiful woman with a strangely deep voice, or feasting on authentic Tom Yam Gung, more often than not, a traveller would stumble upon an adventure that wasn't quite planned.

Now, there is no better way to experience Bangkok than to take its mass transit system or the BTS. In fact, it is the best way about Bangkok, because one would have to be living in Siberia for the past decade to not have heard of the famed rush hour traffic jam that makes double boiling chinese soup seem like fast food.

So it all started with me losing my way after I alighted at the Chidlom BTS Station.

I must have looked really sweaty and lost in my 4 inch spikes and black Karen Millen dress after walking for about 300 meters in the Bangkok humidity, when a guy stopped me in my tracks with a smile playing at the corner of his lips. He is clearly not local.

"Hey beautiful, whatcha doin? Are you lost? Where you from?" he asked with a thick accent that I couldn't quite place.

I stared at him dumfounded. English-speaking people are really rare in this country and when you see one, the last thing you want to do is to say something dumb and fuck up your chance of ever finding your way around.

"Yes I'm a bit lost. can you please point me to Ploenchit Road?"

"Yes, I'm lost, can you point me to Ploenchit Road?" he mimicked.

"I'm sorry? Do you or do you not know?" I quizzed, my annoyance slightly rising. There I was, late, lost and alone with this dude who was obviously trying to be funny.

"I'm sorry? Do you or do you not know?" he mimicked again.

Annoyed, I threw my hands up in annoyance and tried to turn my heels to walk off, but he blocked my way and pressed on, "Hey beautiful, follow me I know the place that you want to go, follow me. Cmon, follow me. Are you going for a meeting? Can I sit beside you and watch you?"

"I want to follow you wherever it is - this place that you are going to", he urged.

This time, I was completely creeped out.

If it wasn't because he look like he is well-versed in tribal warfare and could probably outrun an Olympic runner, I might have unleashed my unfiled fingernails on his face or sprinted off in my 4 inch heels. But no, he looked like he could out-wrestled me even in a clown suit.

So being brilliant at figuring out situations like this, I did what any intelligent woman would do when faced with a confrontational man: I pretended to have period cramps and demanded that he help me to purchase a pack of sanitary pad from the nearest convenience stall.

So there I was standing in the middle of the road doubled over, clutching my lower abdomen in mock pain and shouting, "Quick, go get the Kotex pads with wings! I can't move, it's too painful!"

Needless to say, he was not amused. Barely a minute into my acting, he muttered a "dumb bitch!" and strode away, as if the episode never happened.

The moment he turned his heels, I straightened up, finger-combed my sweat streaked hair and sashayed towards the nearest building to get guidance to my destination.