The Best Press Release Ever

Anyone who has ever drafted a press release would know that it typically follows a standard format that addresses the 5Ws and 1H in the immediate paragraph after the title.

So imagine my shock when I received a call to draft an URGENT announcement, that if translated into a press release would potentially read like this:

Singapore. July XX, 2009 - XXX Company announces today that they are intending to buy some properties. They can't tell you where and what, but they can tell you that they are buying something. They can't tell you why they are doing this, but they can tell you that there are many implications. We don't really know when we can tell you the information, but we thought it's a good idea to do PR around this decision.

Their corp comms ought to be shot.

(Names and content of the conversation has been tweaked severly for P&C reasons)