Met C at Cartel for dinner, and at some point, for some strange reason, our conversation got steered towards the wallpaper - a picture of high-rise buildings, and city lights in the evening- that decorates all the walls of Cafe Cartel. The cityscape is not very much different from our Raffles Place/City Hall area at night, yet it's unmistakably not a picture taken anywhere in Singapore.
So me and C were betting on what city was it.
New York? Chicago? No, I said was Texas, because one of Cartel's famous dish is their Texas Ribs. But then again, granted that there are cities in Texas, cities are NOT exactly an iconic representation of Texas.
Anyway, out of boredom and curiousity, we called on one waitress to ask.
The waitress that came to us was slightly plump, not exactly pretty, speaks with a tinge of DOnald DUck's voice, and an air of act-cuteness. Intelligence is probably not one of her virtues, but we have a question that we're dying to know, and it's a simple question. Even the greatest bimbo shouldn't have a problem answering.
Me: Can you tell us what city is that?
Waitress: Huh??? Hmmm city ah? I dunno ley...Wait I go ask other people.
After a little hum dee dum of wait, she came bouncing back all excited that she's got a new piece of information floating around in that little head of hers.
Waitress: You all guess?? I let you all guess okie? Don't tell you the answer first.
Me: Okie is it in the US...(she looked puzzled)...okay I mean United States...She still looked puzzled...okay fine, AMerica... Is it?
Waitress: No ley. Not in America.
C: Not in America??? Are you sure? The where is it? Hong KOng? Shanghai??
Me: Are you sure it's not America?
Waitress: Ya sure, not Hong Kong, Not Shanghai. Okay, let me give you a clue...It's near England.
C: England???? SO this place is in Europe?
Me: But the architechture doesn't even look European (Nevertheless...) London? Prague?
C: Budapest? Greece? Italy? Paris?
Waitress: All wrong. I give you all big clue already. It's near ENgland.
Me: You sure it's not in the US?
Waitress: Not in US. Okay, give up? Give up? Lemme give you all the answer.
The answer is (*she did a mini drumroll*)....the answer is...NEW YORK.
Us: ... ... ... ... ...But you said it's not in America!!!!
Waitress: Ya, I give you big clues already. It's not in America, it's near ENgland!! So simple!
Us: *muttering under our breath* KNN fucking dumb la
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
Hanami
Hanami, or the social phenomenon of viewing cherry blossoms in Japan, has been romanticized through the centuries. Artists paint them, poets wax lyricals about them, and dancers sought to embody their mystery, delicateness, and beauty.
The Hanami season in Kyuushu and the southern islands in Japan have long passed (about early April?), but just before I set out, cherry blossoms were said to have just shucked the layer of frost covering it, and in the warmer parts of Hokkaido, they were just strating to bloom.
I've planned to make a trip down to Goryokaku Ko-en, which boasts 1,600 Sakura Trees. A perfect Hanami season. And I'll make my way there on my last day in Hakodate, right after breakfast, just before we bullet-train off to Toya-ko.
That day, the weather was fair, skies were blue, no rain, no frost, and even a little bit of warm sunshine.
Perfect. Perfect day for the flowers
Goryokaku park is a little bit far, and because Hakodate is such a small suburban town, there are not subway networks, like Tokyo. But for the sake for witnessing a rare, transient beauty, we've decided that we will brave the strong wind and the long distance and walk there. From the map, it didn't seem like we'd break our legs from walking.
After walking for about an hour, and following the roadsign that points towards this endless road, we came to the conclusion that we were lost, and decide to ask for directions/help...With my extremely stiff and shakey Japanese. I mean it's not that difficult right, if I can bargain with it, I can get to Goryokaku Ko-en with it.
We chose an extremely kind-faced old lady to approach, so that she will be patient with my extremely slow speech, and also because she was the only person around at that moment.
The kind lady advised us to take a bus as the park is still terribly far from where we are. And amidst alot of scratching of my head, I managed to understand she her saying that since she would be alighting at the same stop, she didn't mind walking us to the park from the bus-stop.
With her help, we found the place in no time at all.
Surrounding the park is a pretty little moat, pansies are blooming in a variety of vibrant colours and puffy dandelion clocks that look like candy floss were peppered all over the place. The place looked exactly like how spring would look like in my prettiest imagination, that even few PRCs around couldn't spoil our mood. Because we've came so far to see the legendary cherry blossoms. All 1,600 sakura trees in full bloom in the clearing through the thicket. In full bloom for us, and nothing will spoil it.
Hanami carries with it a tinge of poignance, because such a rare picture of beauty is also transient. As is all the wonderful aspects of life, elucidated by Ken Watanabe in Memoirs of a Geisha, "We cannot expect happiness...When life goes well, it's a sudden gift; it cannot last forever."
We cannot impose our expectations on life and its flowers indeed, because this was what we really saw...
3 bloomin' Sakura trees. THREE pathetic trees that were erected far far far far apart. Apparently Hokkaido is still too freaking cold in May that most of the sakura flowers are still snoozing in their pods.
But standing under the canopy of pink and white sakuras, and looking up vertically (without looking at the other surrounding trees), we were momentarily swept away with a brief moment of joy. Perhaps, if we had came 2 days earlier, we might not even have caught the pathetic trio of bloomin' cherry blossoms. And perhaps if we had came just 2 days too late, a sudden onset of spring frost might just freeze the budding flowers off, that they might just not appear anymore for the rest of the year. So I guess it's still a bit of luck, for my Daddy, who flies to Japan almost every other year, and who has encountered at least 5 Japanese spring-time, has NEVER seen Sakuras before. Not even One measly tree.
Plus, I got myself a jelly to eat.
The Hanami season in Kyuushu and the southern islands in Japan have long passed (about early April?), but just before I set out, cherry blossoms were said to have just shucked the layer of frost covering it, and in the warmer parts of Hokkaido, they were just strating to bloom.
I've planned to make a trip down to Goryokaku Ko-en, which boasts 1,600 Sakura Trees. A perfect Hanami season. And I'll make my way there on my last day in Hakodate, right after breakfast, just before we bullet-train off to Toya-ko.
That day, the weather was fair, skies were blue, no rain, no frost, and even a little bit of warm sunshine.
Perfect. Perfect day for the flowers
Goryokaku park is a little bit far, and because Hakodate is such a small suburban town, there are not subway networks, like Tokyo. But for the sake for witnessing a rare, transient beauty, we've decided that we will brave the strong wind and the long distance and walk there. From the map, it didn't seem like we'd break our legs from walking.
After walking for about an hour, and following the roadsign that points towards this endless road, we came to the conclusion that we were lost, and decide to ask for directions/help...With my extremely stiff and shakey Japanese. I mean it's not that difficult right, if I can bargain with it, I can get to Goryokaku Ko-en with it.
We chose an extremely kind-faced old lady to approach, so that she will be patient with my extremely slow speech, and also because she was the only person around at that moment.
The kind lady advised us to take a bus as the park is still terribly far from where we are. And amidst alot of scratching of my head, I managed to understand she her saying that since she would be alighting at the same stop, she didn't mind walking us to the park from the bus-stop.
With her help, we found the place in no time at all.
Surrounding the park is a pretty little moat, pansies are blooming in a variety of vibrant colours and puffy dandelion clocks that look like candy floss were peppered all over the place. The place looked exactly like how spring would look like in my prettiest imagination, that even few PRCs around couldn't spoil our mood. Because we've came so far to see the legendary cherry blossoms. All 1,600 sakura trees in full bloom in the clearing through the thicket. In full bloom for us, and nothing will spoil it.
Hanami carries with it a tinge of poignance, because such a rare picture of beauty is also transient. As is all the wonderful aspects of life, elucidated by Ken Watanabe in Memoirs of a Geisha, "We cannot expect happiness...When life goes well, it's a sudden gift; it cannot last forever."
We cannot impose our expectations on life and its flowers indeed, because this was what we really saw...
3 bloomin' Sakura trees. THREE pathetic trees that were erected far far far far apart. Apparently Hokkaido is still too freaking cold in May that most of the sakura flowers are still snoozing in their pods.
But standing under the canopy of pink and white sakuras, and looking up vertically (without looking at the other surrounding trees), we were momentarily swept away with a brief moment of joy. Perhaps, if we had came 2 days earlier, we might not even have caught the pathetic trio of bloomin' cherry blossoms. And perhaps if we had came just 2 days too late, a sudden onset of spring frost might just freeze the budding flowers off, that they might just not appear anymore for the rest of the year. So I guess it's still a bit of luck, for my Daddy, who flies to Japan almost every other year, and who has encountered at least 5 Japanese spring-time, has NEVER seen Sakuras before. Not even One measly tree.
Plus, I got myself a jelly to eat.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Eating Too Much in Japan-PART I
Shit.
A visit to the 7-11 nearby shortly, and I see Andrea Fonseka splashed all over the magazine covers on all the racks. She looked especially lovely on the covers of Style: Wedding in that plunging neck gown, being all ribey and elegant.
She's getting slimmer, while yours truly is piling on the weight.
And if I continue gorging down $4 of Char Kuay Tiao and large plates of chicken rice now that I'm back, I can kiss my modelling career good bye and start selling off my fats in the black market for breast/ass implants.
The trip to Japan helped in making me fat too, since I made it a goal to eat as much juicy fatty slabs of beef in Kobe-Osaka; chunks of fresh sashimi, crabs of all kinds, fresh scallops just hauled in at daybreak that are so fresh that you can almost taste the ocean; bowls of sticky fragrant pearl rice; HUGE and unbelievably sweet fruits, Veges and beans sold on the racks of super market, and the prettily wrapped sweet snacks of what-nots. Never mind what they contain, because half the time I don't know. I just want to eat them.
To make it worse, even their 7-11 convenience store food is drool-worthy and fresh (can you even belief that?!) that I make it a point to eat supper almost everyday.
Just to illustrate my point:
Day 1 : First meal in downtown Tokyo Shibuya. A little hole-in-the-wall shop that sells excellent Tori-niku (barbecued chicken)
Even though it's my 8th time in Japan, and my 3rd time visiting Tokyo, I am still intrigued by it's over abundance of vending machines that dispenses even hot-canned coffee, so I had to spend some tourist coins on a couple of cutsie canned-drinks that screams at you to pick them up.
Day 2: Is when we start our eating crusade.
We started off the day at 6:15am, and set off to the Tsukiji Fish Market to witness some slaughtering and bartering of the freshest/biggest catch of the day.
Then fresh Sashimi for breakfast...
Then being the typical "monkey see monkey do" Singaporean, whose favourite pastime is joining in a queue just because there is a queue and food is involved, I joined the queue right after eting Sashimi
And was promptly served with with a hot bowl of thick pork broth ramen. Suddenly I feel like I'm never ever going to step into Ajisen ever again.
After which, at Asakusa, a former old town in downtown Tokyo, I ate lots of nibblies again. Because everything that was edible looked yummy.
Went to Ginza in search of all the legendary tidbit/confectionary stores with long queues no matter the time of the day. We found 2 on our list of 5, that were side by side, and we blew about 1000yen on waffles, mochis and melon cakes.
That was appetizer, we said, so for dinner, we went to Daimaru after 8pm, when most of their perishable food stuff and bento sets are going for 30-50% less the marked price. So over bought and over ate. As usual~~
Day 3: Finally we're setting off to Hakodate, at the southern-tip of Hokkaido, one of Japan's few port city that was partially opened for foreign trade during the period of Meiji Restoration.
But before the long 7 hour ride on the bullet train, we went to Tokyo's Imperial Palace which was coincidendally near the train station. The sky was fair, the wind was gentle, and all that lugging the luggage around made us very hungry. So we went for a picnic at the park outside of the Imperial Palace.
Then I spotted this really cute advertisement for their MacDonald's new Cheese Cutlet Burger, and greedy me wanted to eat it.
Had Melons and Coffee too.
We also bought a BAG of food for the JR train ride, across the strip of Ocean that separates Kyushuu and Hokkaido. 3 types of sandwiches, 1 currant pastry, a bag of Tomatoes, 1 large Fuji APple, and I eat so much that I forgot what else I ate.
Then, upon arrival in Hakodate, which was already 8 plus at night, we went for dinner after checking in at Nice Day Inn. DInner at a Hakodate Beer Garden, at the recommendation of our inn keeper.
It's worth mentioning that Hakodate Beer is supposed to have a unique taste that is quite unlike the mainstream Japanese beer, perhaps due its European's Influence from the older days.
Kampaii~
Despite the yummy dinner, my appetite was whet by this huge selection of "Everything-looks-good" food...in 7-11, of all places. Ice-creams, Hot Oden, Bento sets with HUGE Grilled chicken that are replaced everyday, sandwiches, salads, pastas... I could go on and on.
Yet, nothing-look like the pruney shrivelled-up sausages in Singapore's 7-11, that looks almost a month old.
I had an ice cream, a yoghurt, some sushi and I went to bed with a round stomach and a shiney nose.
Day 4: Famous for its fresh and monstrously huge seafood just hauled from the sea, we set out to eat the best catch of the day.
Now it moves...
Now it doesn't...
Now I'm eating it and grinning. How sick I am right, gleefully eating it after witnessing its death.
The extremely enterprising Nippon Ah Lian, her beautiful sisters and Mother...
...Who hardsell me into buying their Milk-flavoured ice-cream, which was surprisingly thick, creamy and nothing like the Factory Manufactured Milk flavoured ice-cream that even kids would pass up.
You've seen/eaten Squid Ink Pasta...but Squid Ink Ice cream??????
Then we walked, until we saw a crowd of pre-pubescent school girls sitting outside this place called Lucky Pierrot, chomping down burgers and drinking corn soup.
Which probably means that the food that they serve there is cheap and good.
As we strayed from the group, because they weren’t excited by the idea of looking at colonial churches left over from the Meiji Period (churches in Japan are a rare sight, because of the Emperor’s attempts to contain the spread of ‘fancy foreign ideas’), we found another gem along the way. Cream Puffs - Beard Papa style, made with real Hokkaido cream, for only 88yen (less than $1 sgd).
We bought one initially to try....then we walked back to buy 4 more. Then we walked back to buy the last one on the shelf. It was that good.
For dinner, after staying up on Mt Hakodate for hours, we headed to the supermarket, the cows' favourite place on earth. And we had these...
Plus a wine that was chilling in the fridge while this pictures were taken.
While they had this...
Part II will be up soon. Blogger's "Insert Photo" is a bitch, and Photobucket makes my pictures so huge that I can even see my pores.
A visit to the 7-11 nearby shortly, and I see Andrea Fonseka splashed all over the magazine covers on all the racks. She looked especially lovely on the covers of Style: Wedding in that plunging neck gown, being all ribey and elegant.
She's getting slimmer, while yours truly is piling on the weight.
And if I continue gorging down $4 of Char Kuay Tiao and large plates of chicken rice now that I'm back, I can kiss my modelling career good bye and start selling off my fats in the black market for breast/ass implants.
The trip to Japan helped in making me fat too, since I made it a goal to eat as much juicy fatty slabs of beef in Kobe-Osaka; chunks of fresh sashimi, crabs of all kinds, fresh scallops just hauled in at daybreak that are so fresh that you can almost taste the ocean; bowls of sticky fragrant pearl rice; HUGE and unbelievably sweet fruits, Veges and beans sold on the racks of super market, and the prettily wrapped sweet snacks of what-nots. Never mind what they contain, because half the time I don't know. I just want to eat them.
To make it worse, even their 7-11 convenience store food is drool-worthy and fresh (can you even belief that?!) that I make it a point to eat supper almost everyday.
Just to illustrate my point:
Day 1 : First meal in downtown Tokyo Shibuya. A little hole-in-the-wall shop that sells excellent Tori-niku (barbecued chicken)
Even though it's my 8th time in Japan, and my 3rd time visiting Tokyo, I am still intrigued by it's over abundance of vending machines that dispenses even hot-canned coffee, so I had to spend some tourist coins on a couple of cutsie canned-drinks that screams at you to pick them up.
Day 2: Is when we start our eating crusade.
We started off the day at 6:15am, and set off to the Tsukiji Fish Market to witness some slaughtering and bartering of the freshest/biggest catch of the day.
Then fresh Sashimi for breakfast...
Then being the typical "monkey see monkey do" Singaporean, whose favourite pastime is joining in a queue just because there is a queue and food is involved, I joined the queue right after eting Sashimi
And was promptly served with with a hot bowl of thick pork broth ramen. Suddenly I feel like I'm never ever going to step into Ajisen ever again.
After which, at Asakusa, a former old town in downtown Tokyo, I ate lots of nibblies again. Because everything that was edible looked yummy.
Went to Ginza in search of all the legendary tidbit/confectionary stores with long queues no matter the time of the day. We found 2 on our list of 5, that were side by side, and we blew about 1000yen on waffles, mochis and melon cakes.
That was appetizer, we said, so for dinner, we went to Daimaru after 8pm, when most of their perishable food stuff and bento sets are going for 30-50% less the marked price. So over bought and over ate. As usual~~
Day 3: Finally we're setting off to Hakodate, at the southern-tip of Hokkaido, one of Japan's few port city that was partially opened for foreign trade during the period of Meiji Restoration.
But before the long 7 hour ride on the bullet train, we went to Tokyo's Imperial Palace which was coincidendally near the train station. The sky was fair, the wind was gentle, and all that lugging the luggage around made us very hungry. So we went for a picnic at the park outside of the Imperial Palace.
Then I spotted this really cute advertisement for their MacDonald's new Cheese Cutlet Burger, and greedy me wanted to eat it.
Had Melons and Coffee too.
We also bought a BAG of food for the JR train ride, across the strip of Ocean that separates Kyushuu and Hokkaido. 3 types of sandwiches, 1 currant pastry, a bag of Tomatoes, 1 large Fuji APple, and I eat so much that I forgot what else I ate.
Then, upon arrival in Hakodate, which was already 8 plus at night, we went for dinner after checking in at Nice Day Inn. DInner at a Hakodate Beer Garden, at the recommendation of our inn keeper.
It's worth mentioning that Hakodate Beer is supposed to have a unique taste that is quite unlike the mainstream Japanese beer, perhaps due its European's Influence from the older days.
Kampaii~
Despite the yummy dinner, my appetite was whet by this huge selection of "Everything-looks-good" food...in 7-11, of all places. Ice-creams, Hot Oden, Bento sets with HUGE Grilled chicken that are replaced everyday, sandwiches, salads, pastas... I could go on and on.
Yet, nothing-look like the pruney shrivelled-up sausages in Singapore's 7-11, that looks almost a month old.
I had an ice cream, a yoghurt, some sushi and I went to bed with a round stomach and a shiney nose.
Day 4: Famous for its fresh and monstrously huge seafood just hauled from the sea, we set out to eat the best catch of the day.
Now it moves...
Now it doesn't...
Now I'm eating it and grinning. How sick I am right, gleefully eating it after witnessing its death.
The extremely enterprising Nippon Ah Lian, her beautiful sisters and Mother...
...Who hardsell me into buying their Milk-flavoured ice-cream, which was surprisingly thick, creamy and nothing like the Factory Manufactured Milk flavoured ice-cream that even kids would pass up.
You've seen/eaten Squid Ink Pasta...but Squid Ink Ice cream??????
Then we walked, until we saw a crowd of pre-pubescent school girls sitting outside this place called Lucky Pierrot, chomping down burgers and drinking corn soup.
Which probably means that the food that they serve there is cheap and good.
As we strayed from the group, because they weren’t excited by the idea of looking at colonial churches left over from the Meiji Period (churches in Japan are a rare sight, because of the Emperor’s attempts to contain the spread of ‘fancy foreign ideas’), we found another gem along the way. Cream Puffs - Beard Papa style, made with real Hokkaido cream, for only 88yen (less than $1 sgd).
We bought one initially to try....then we walked back to buy 4 more. Then we walked back to buy the last one on the shelf. It was that good.
For dinner, after staying up on Mt Hakodate for hours, we headed to the supermarket, the cows' favourite place on earth. And we had these...
Plus a wine that was chilling in the fridge while this pictures were taken.
While they had this...
Part II will be up soon. Blogger's "Insert Photo" is a bitch, and Photobucket makes my pictures so huge that I can even see my pores.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
Konnichiwa!
Greetings from the Land Where You Can Never Be Over Dressed.
Or no matter how over-dressed you think you are, you can never be more dolled up than the majority of its metropolitan population.
In Kyoto to be exact and I[m going to go for some Suki Yaki buffet with lots of beef later. And just last night, I went chasing Geishas around the Gion district just to get some photos with those super exotic beings.
Anyway, I cant write too much not only because the keyboards are in Hiragana and Katagana with millions of othe tiny Jap character, but also because I{m limited to 10min per usage, and the loading time for this shared computer alone takes half a day...
Or no matter how over-dressed you think you are, you can never be more dolled up than the majority of its metropolitan population.
In Kyoto to be exact and I[m going to go for some Suki Yaki buffet with lots of beef later. And just last night, I went chasing Geishas around the Gion district just to get some photos with those super exotic beings.
Anyway, I cant write too much not only because the keyboards are in Hiragana and Katagana with millions of othe tiny Jap character, but also because I{m limited to 10min per usage, and the loading time for this shared computer alone takes half a day...
Tuesday, May 06, 2008
See Ya Suckers! I'm going to Japan
Been so sick that I couldn't even spell SICK.
Fever ran up to 40 degrees Celsius, yet I was almost frozen to death in sunny singapore, to the point that my nails turned blue.
But I'm glad the fever has somwhat subsided because tmr I'll be jetting off to Tokyo then to Hakodate, then to Toya, then to Hakodate, then to Kyoto, then to Osaka. And I'll only be back on the 19th May.
I'm dying to visit the Hachiman-gu in Kamakura, or rather the dick temple (yes Dida, a coincidence), but it's kinda out of the way. Besides, I'm not exactly planning on getting myself pregnant (with a boy or not) anytime soon.
I'd love to visit the Lavender fields in Furano, Hokkaido, but I heard it isn't exactly the season yet.
But I sure hope that I'd be able to catch the last glimpse of Sakura in Hokkaido, before they shrivel up for the rest of the year.
Was thinking of blogging along the way, but then because I'd be staying in shared accomodations with a bunch of strangers, so I'm not sure if bringing my Winnie the Pooh Lenovo is the safest thing to do. Plus I'm not sure if I'd be too dizzy from the excitement of the day that I'll be too exhausted to blog.
Maybe I will...But I haven't packed AT ALL!! My jeans is still in the laundry, my Victoria's Secret Tote bag isn't even here yet, and I can't decide if I want to bring my beige platform sandals, white heels or Victoria's Secret Flip flops, and will my toes freeze itself dry if I were to wear a pair of pretty open toed-shoe in a 19 degree Celsius environment. Yet I'd look ridiculous if I were to bring my suede boots and woollen jackets there.
Fever ran up to 40 degrees Celsius, yet I was almost frozen to death in sunny singapore, to the point that my nails turned blue.
But I'm glad the fever has somwhat subsided because tmr I'll be jetting off to Tokyo then to Hakodate, then to Toya, then to Hakodate, then to Kyoto, then to Osaka. And I'll only be back on the 19th May.
I'm dying to visit the Hachiman-gu in Kamakura, or rather the dick temple (yes Dida, a coincidence), but it's kinda out of the way. Besides, I'm not exactly planning on getting myself pregnant (with a boy or not) anytime soon.
I'd love to visit the Lavender fields in Furano, Hokkaido, but I heard it isn't exactly the season yet.
But I sure hope that I'd be able to catch the last glimpse of Sakura in Hokkaido, before they shrivel up for the rest of the year.
Was thinking of blogging along the way, but then because I'd be staying in shared accomodations with a bunch of strangers, so I'm not sure if bringing my Winnie the Pooh Lenovo is the safest thing to do. Plus I'm not sure if I'd be too dizzy from the excitement of the day that I'll be too exhausted to blog.
Maybe I will...But I haven't packed AT ALL!! My jeans is still in the laundry, my Victoria's Secret Tote bag isn't even here yet, and I can't decide if I want to bring my beige platform sandals, white heels or Victoria's Secret Flip flops, and will my toes freeze itself dry if I were to wear a pair of pretty open toed-shoe in a 19 degree Celsius environment. Yet I'd look ridiculous if I were to bring my suede boots and woollen jackets there.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Say hello to the fake Goldies
We were supposed to look like Golden statues on the runway, somewhat greek inspired.
But I thought we looked more like some cheesy auspicious-looking Asian and Pan-Asian characters created for Austin Powers.
This was the sight that greeted me when I first reached the event venue.:D:D:D
but OMG, they're only 19!!!
I.FEEL.LIKE.A.PAEDOPHILE.
I don't know what the boys were doing preening in front of the mirror in a half-naked state, but I guessed the robes weren't there when they started the body painting
And just as I was warming up to the idea of doing this show, they ushered me to a damn cold corner, wrapped me up in prickly golden garbs, and start the ritual of spraying cold, wet gold paint all over my body.
Even my hair wasn't spared.
Apparently, we were hired for some Malaysian Royalty's Birthday Event.
A very, very, very expensive birthday, I'd say
All 6 of us, hired in the capacity of models. Already not cheap
Throw in the cost of the body painters, the dressers, the event venue(St Regis being a super high-class hotel)
No expenses were spared on the expensive menu (I saw foie gras on some socialite's plate while I was strutting my stuff on the stage)
The "Gold" themed decor
The exclusive guest list with the A-list glittery socialites and well-known top plastic surgeons and media people in Singapore.
The celebrity hosts, and belgian game master, and a couple of international singers
Wah...I think I could probably buy a 3 room HDB flat in Singapore with all that money.
But for all it's opulence, the welfare for us models sucked. We were starved, frozen half to death, and then the 2-faced client tried to undermine and undepay us, by giving shitty excuses to make us stay later and claiming that we were late by 1.5 hours. That bitched faced woman from 1-Werkz Production attempted to milk us dry by making us stay 2 hours beyond the agreed time, by making us stay for the round of game with the socialites, in which we were required to hold up number cards above our heads when they score a point. Unfed at 11pm, you can bet the bunch of us could win the most sourly looking models award.
If she'd just use her big fat blain to think a bit, how on earth can we be late for 2whole hours, if we were already dressed and painted when she made her grand inspection 2 hours from reporting time. Holy as the king and Queen of Malaysia might be, gold flakes do not magically settle on our body and coat the 6 of us, in 1 second.
By 11pm, I felt so cheesed out that I half wished I didn't shave my armpits when I was raising up my cards just so that the unpruned national forest growing from under the pits will scare the shit out of the royalties.
And maybe some one should strip.
Protocol dictates that there should not be any indecent exposure towards the royalties, which will send them into a mad frenzy, and then they will have to go home to pray immediately, and maybe fast for a month.
*Location: St Regis Hotel
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